By the Dashboard Lights

by Dave Friedli

06/30/05

Turtles in the Fairway

If you haven't been golfing with a ten year-old lately, perhaps

you've missed the turtles in the fairway.

Mind you, this has nothing to with speed of play of a middle-aged

hacker and his talented left-handed club swinger.

We're talking real live turtles here.

We're watching reptiles with shells harder than the Surlyn cover of

a Titleist Pro V-1.

The beginning golfer is poor enough at the sport that it is easy to

be distracted by things other than hitting the ball and putting it in

the hole.

Those who play regularly begin to believe they actually can improve

their play and focus on the technical aspects of hand position,

alignment, swing rhythm and not sneaking a peek just after impact

between club face and ball.

The low-handicapper has the skill to play well and use the hours of

a round of golf to socialize.

So it is good my ten year-old playing partner regularly helps me see

the fairway from the rough during our outings together.

Rather than the barren landscape many people expect from grass mowed

short, a golf course presents a variety of educational and sometimes

inspirational opportunities.

Turtles in the fairways are one.

Apparently, these slow-moving creatures are intent on capitalizing

on the old "Why did the chicken cross the road?" rhetorical question.

I don't have the definitive answer for my pre-teen partner although

he has asked it four or five times already this year.

Perhaps there is food in the water hazard across the wide strip of

short grass.

Perhaps he/she is looking for a mate.

Perhaps he is looking for a place to make a nest and lay eggs.

The question is always the same, and the answers don't change.

Unlike the chicken, there must be a reason. The possibilities help us

separate from the double bogie on the very make-able Par 3 13th hole.

One of our favorite memories involves a red fox who had taken up

residence in a drainage tube near a fairway. Rarely do we pass by

that spot without recalling the incident or taking a quick glance to

see if perhaps the critter has returned to the area.

Our educational distractions are not limited to the things of

nature. On a golf course there are a million things to investigate

and ponder.

How does a golf ball washer work? How do they irrigate all the

course without using hoses? What are these numbers on the tops of

sprinkler heads? How many horsepower are those mower engines?

How do they decide where to put the gold, red, white and blue blocks

of wood to identify the different tee boxes? How do they put that

hole in the putting green? Do they ever drive a mower into a water

hazard? Was this always a golf course, or what was it?

Why does the wind seem to affect one shot and not the other? If

everyone uses two hands to swing a club, why don't left-handed

players play with righty clubs anyway? Do you have to be good to play

from the blue tees?

What is inside of a golf ball? Currently, the floor of our simple

little workshop at home is covered with dust from eight brands of

golf balls cut in half to answer a question which intrigued father

and son for the majority of an afternoon.

Now we have a general idea that the durable white dimpled cover

surrounds a resilient inner core of one or more plastics, but we

haven't yet made an analysis of the material's content.

It's good to be golfing. Even when the scores are high, the

conditions difficult and the shot-making frustrating, there are

things to learn.

If we're moving too slow for you, please play through. We're

probably watching the turtles.