By the Dashboard Lights

by David Friedli

December 13, 2007

Officially Older

A few weeks ago, I chronicled the events of my fiftieth birthday.

Over the last few weeks, I have officially become an old person.

I still have reasonable health. With the exception of a daily allergy pill and an occasional antacid tablet, I make it through life without the aid of drugs or prescriptions, and that provides a psychological boost, knowing my body is not falling apart…yet.

It is good to be avoiding high monthly medical payments endured by those who are dependent on medications and regular doctor visits.

A few extra gray hairs are evident according to Linda, who puts shears to task on my head once a month. I don’t consider coloring an option.

I feel the effects of some of the tasks I used to do without remorse: shoveling snow, climbing ladders to trim tree limbs, bending over a workbench to fix a broken appliance, chair or electronic gizmo.

Of course, presbyopia has set in. Fortunately, I understand that has nothing to do with the church I attend, but instead is the weakening of structures in the eye which makes it more difficult to read anything closer than arms length away.

The house and my office are littered with cheap reading glasses, the short-term solution to the inevitable bifocal prescription.

I’m not certain if I don’t hear as well as I used to or if I am just becoming better at tuning out and ignoring the things I don’t want to hear.

Not unlike an ostrich, if I don’t hear it, it must not exist. That includes such unimportant things as deadlines, requests for assistance, complaints and admonitions from The Wife to get out of bed or be late to work.

So, I am growing older. And the official notifications have begun.

AARP wants me. The American Association of Retired Persons has me on its list.

In other words, I have old folks mail. I get mailings providing financial advice, Medicare and leisure travel. It is suggested I get an insurance break simply because I am “of qualifying age”.

I qualify because I am 50 years old. I don’t remember people retiring at fifty when I was younger, and I don’t see many retiring at that age now.

Even AARP downplays the retirement part of its name. The Association’s own website doesn’t define what AARP stands for.

But we know. I know.

Send me the discount card and give me ten percent off. I am officially older.